Who ordered the scrambled brains?

Memoirs of a Pilipino-Irishman

Product Review: Tom’s of Maine Natural Deodorant

A couple weeks ago I started using Tom’s of Maine Natural Deodorant, and I haven’t had any complaints about it yet. More importantly perhaps is that I haven’t heard any complaints about it yet, from people that spend time near me. I decided to switch from Mitchum because of the Diet and Exercise class I took last quarter at UCLA, in which the professor predicted that in 20 years, the chemical industry in general will have been found accountable for significant death and disease and will face public outrage, just as the cigarette industry has today. So I have been using the unscented variety which, for some reason, has the refreshing scent of lemon and lime. I can go a full day and a half on this stuff - don’t ask about the details. But be you warned. After precisely 36 hours, the deodorant, no longer able to continue its war versus nature, will cowardly flee the battleground and yield to the suffocating stench of death and decay. Mike’s Morsel: Set your stopwatch the moment you apply the product to thirty-six hours.

The judge rules: highly recommended. It is further bestowed the Scrambled Brains Medal of Odorlessness 2006.

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Commenting options at bottom.
Shaun said:

Tom’s of Maine is great. I have been secretly sharing Mike’s stick and they have almost convinced me to buy a stick of my own. Application is a breeze, as it glides on smooth and doesn’t leave a chalky residue like that Mitchum stick we used to share. The other day I was walking down the street and some guy yelled directly in my ear: “Hey! You smell like lemons!”.

Mike McG said:

Hehe, lemme share a secret with ya’ll. I found out about Shaun’s little deodorant charade not too long ago. That’s the real reason I switched to Tom’s of Maine. It gave me the perfect opportunity to enact my plan to leave a decoy stick on my bathroom counter whenever I wasn’t around to protect the real stick.

And Shaun, I hate to break it to you, but you’ve been smearing cat feces under your arms the last two weeks. Yeah, I struck a deal with Theresa in apartment 17 for all the cat feces I could handle, in exchange for your television remote control (you can stop looking for it now). Regarding the guy yelling at you about the lemons… I think it would probably do you good to stop hanging out at the Veteran’s Administration. Either that or you should stop wearing that costume made of lemons sewn together with twine. That thing’s like 2 years old now.

Natalie said:

Wait….you mean to tell me I’ve been sharing deodorant with Shaun this whole time! I know this comes as a suprise to you Mike…..but I too have been borrowing your lemon stick of chalk-less joy.

But let me tell the scrambled brains audience why I started using this stick:

One day I asked Mike if he had taken a shower. He replied, “Heck no”. I knew for a fact that he hadn’t taken a shower the day before, so this guy was going well into day two, and out of pure curiosity I stuck my nose straight into the fiery core of his armpit and to my absolute shock, nothin. Now, at that point, it didn’t smell like lemons, but it didn’t smell like a dirty sock either, and for Mike….that ain’t bad.

True story.

Mike McG said:

I’m sure my intense flatulence during this time helped the ol’ pits.

marcus said:

there should be a notice warning potential readers of the contents of the comment section… haha

Mike McG said:

HAHAHAHAAHAHA I’ll take that into consideration. Marcus, in future corrrespondence about this issue, please refer to Support Ticket #30,000,001.


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