Who ordered the scrambled brains?

Surgeon General's Warning: Consuming brains is hazardous to your health.

Break out the sham-PAN-ya!

Welcome to Wild Creatures of the Universe! In our last episode, we followed the pipsqueak Earthling who was named Lunalot Beeblebrox by researches, but who goes by “Michael McGranahan” by the natives. Lunalot spent the last three years trying to dig himself out of a big hole, a hole he had stumbled upon and accidentally began expanding three years prior. But things are starting to turn around for this young whipper-snapper. The long winter of despair and ramen is finally retreating to torment other Earth-critters. Yes, it has been quite the week of discovery and adventure in the concrete jungles of North America, as mother nature rewards those she tested, neglected, or flat-out screwed over as of late.

To understand where young Lunalot’s adventures have taken him, we must take a moment to examine the strange culture of Earth. Unlike in our own culture, where we strive to enjoy the finer things existence has to offer, like sipping nectar from stars and colliding dispensable planets into wormholes, in Earth culture, a complex, often brutal social system severely imposes restraints and obligations upon the individual. The minimum of these expectations is for the individual to be able to sustain his own existence in this hostile, competitive environment. To do so, he is forced to sell his own labor, toiling tirelessly and tediously for others! In return, he receives quantities of their generic form of social exchange media, called “money.”

animals in la brea tar pitsIt all started back in October 2005 local time, with the announcement that there was a job opening in Murphy Hall at the University of California, Los Angeles. Yes, the one and only Los Angeles, the city in which our ancient, mighty, fallen brethren lay encased in bubbling tar pits. If only the Space-Ark could have taken them all.

Anyway, Murphy Hall is a tiny, primitive dwelling that houses many administrative functions of the university. Among those is the development of the rudimentary system of conjoined clock-based digital electronics that comprise the peak of Earth communication technology. These fickle, finicky instruments form an abstract algorithmic construction yard, upon which “computer programs” can be built. It was for this type of construction that the job opening was made available. In the ensuing months, Lunalot tread deep career and financial waters, until February 1, 2006, when he struck a deal with the powers that be and accepted an offer for full-time employment! Whoohoo! Time to break out the sham-PAN-ya! Ahem, back to our show. Lunalot has finally joined the ranks of countless Earth automatons, and he has never been more optimistic or satisfied.

And we’d like to take a moment to direct our viewers to the new blog of one of our sponsors, a one Nat-Selection, who has helped make Lunalot’s story a much more interesting and enjoyable one. Nat-Selection, the natural selection for blog-readers everywhere.

Follow me on Twitter for the latest updates, and make sure to check out my community opinion social networking project, Blocvox.


Commenting options at bottom.
Tom said:

Congratulations! A position deserved and earned. The real winner is UCLA’s IT department.
Next milestone - the diploma.

Mike McG said:

Yeah, especially since that milestone is written into my employement offer!

Shaun said:

This is all well and good, but I come here for the Product Reviews. Where are the Product Reviews?

Steve said:

Oh yeah…In-N-Out on Mike. Welcome to the full time working world. Congrats!

Mike McG said:

Yeah you should come by, I’ll fix you a special burger, with special bread, special lettuce, special tomatoes, special cheese, special beef, special onions, special special sauce, and special poison.

Natalie said:

YAY!!! !

Congrats my humble heart.

Mike McG said:

I am pretty humble aren’t I? I’m very damned humble! Probably more so than most people! Yeah!

marcus said:

Congrats again Mike! Galing! Galing!

Eileen said:

Okay.. it’s not a full congrats unless it’s posted here.. so, congrats again! Gosh, I always enjoy reading your blogs.. and now I can’t wait to keep up with Nat-Selection.. =)


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