Who ordered the scrambled brains?

1994 Blog of the Year! (Albania Times)

Designer Bottles


At Cheviot Farm’s Deli Market.

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Commenting options at bottom.
Shaun said:

How do we scroll down? I want to see whats on the rack below.

Mike McG said:

How to scroll down:

1. Get in car.
2. Drive to Cheviot Farms.
3. Take picture of rack below.

Shaun said:

Two more questions:

Where is Chevrolet Farms?

Why is orange soda split up by the 7UP? Orange soda not get along with Orange soda?

Mike McG said:

Chevrolet Farms? I think that’s at the corner of 3rd and Main, right next to the whiffle ball factory.

Here’s the deal with the Orange Soda. Last month one of the shipments of Marinda Orange Soda was delayed when a Zebediah Brown’s flock of turkeys broke free after 17 days of continuous Shrimp Flavored Chips diet inflicted on them in retaliation for Brown’s wife leaving him. The flock invaded a poorly secured power station in Memphis, Tennessee resulting in power outages as well as riots. The angry mob mistakenly targeted the mansion of a one John P. Rockefeller, unfortunate neighbor of Brown and local trucking hero who won the Swokee County Challenge by delivering 520 tons of perishables from Omaha in 17 days. Luckily Rocker, as he is known locally, was visiting his Aunt Margaret, but nevertheless the keys to the “Unstoppable Boulder,” his rig, were lost. After the dust settled it took the townsfolk all of three weeks before they uncovered the keys, which were found on a large key chain hanging around the neck of a stray deer. They shot the deer, ate it, and returned the keys to Rocker pronto.

Meanwhile, back in Cheviot Farm, a dwindling band of 12 Miranda bottles struggled to hold the line against an unending onslaught of thirsty humans. No amount of dodging or hiding or uglification could save them from the enemy. By the time the Memphis reinforcements arrived, only three of the embattled pack remained. Those three still have not found it in their hearts to forgive the Memphis group for not catching a flight or something out to California. Skirmishes were unavoidable and the manager was forced to segregate the bottles with 7UP peacekeeping forces until the tensions subside or some solution can be devised.

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