First up, pinsan honors. Congratulations to my cousin Tara on landing a new job and starting her career in event planning! She’s moving from the Old Bank District to her company’s lofty new digs in the Artist District! But she’s not the only one moving. Congratulations to pinsan Eileen who’s going to graduate school at the University of Connecticut this summer! Wow! She’s gonna be the most advanced pinsan ever!

Second, a blurb of a different color. You ever see those asinine billboards for some country music station that reads “Save a horse, ride a cowboy” and features the image of the aloof grin of some jockish white oaf-hick? What is that station trying to say? Is it some sort of pro-creaton procreation/promiscuity message? And with what type of person does that billboard connect? Lame. Should be “Save a horse, trample/shoot/maim a cowboy.”

Third, happy birthday to Sonia! She joins the Quarter Club now. Whoo! Got together with folks to celebrate and Maggie had the quote of the night: “Man, now they always shaft you on the fries! I hate that ‘Super Size Me’ movie!” Mike Cordero led the alcohol charge, barking orders to load up on free drinks with all the precision of a nostalgic WWII general. Musical highs included Sonia and the Girls’ tear-jerking, spine-tingling, gut-wrenching, heart-breaking, ear-canal-exploding karaoke rendition of “I’m a Slave 4 U,” and the scheduled performer’s fantastically good acoustic guitar “Like a Virgin” shout-along — no joke. As usual, my photography was breathtaking and hopefully I’ll have some of those photos in the distant future. All in all a great way to cap off the week. …One day early.

Hail, hail, the gang’s all here!
Singing happy birthday, happy happy birthday!
Hail, hail, the gang’s all here!
Wishing happy birthday to you!

I hope you have a happy day, and a healthy year.

Make sure you all check back with this post later. Let’s just say there might be some “audio” available, if you catch my drift.

Update: Well what do you know Joe, there’s an audio link at the top of this post. I wonder what that could be. (Vocals graciously provided by Shaun “Catfish” McGranahan and Natalie “Yang Yang” Marin-Sharp. Thanks a lot guys; it wouldn’t have been the same without you.)

I got a fever, and the only prescription… is Christmas. (Loosely adapted from that one SNL sketch about golden diapers or something.) It’s September, and I have Christmas Fever. I keep imagining overcast weather, walking around my apartment freezing, sitting on a cold toilet seat and needing to turn on the heater and then smelling the dust burning on it’s coils. I keep thinking about early nights and seeing the shiny cheap tinsel bought with taxpayer dollars on all the street lamps. The excitement and stress of buying presents on my credit card; thank god(s) my credit score is out of the double-digits. “Now is this the doodad that has elements of both my quirky interests and so-and-so’s less quirky interests? …Yes, it is! I’ll be adored and admired forever!”

Going to family gatherings, the only time of year I’ll see stuffed, roasted turkey, mashed potatos and gravy, baked ham, cranberry gelatenous stuff, and apple pie alongside lumpia, pancit, some dish featuring sayote, casava, adobo, sinigang, kare kare, lichon and my personal favorite, dinuguan. It’s the only time I’ll ever smell all of that at the same time too; the smells combine to form some sort of super-smell. Fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies, peanut butter cookies, orange wreaths, sugar cookies, ginger cookies, and those ones with the Hershey’s Kiss smashed into the middle. Old Christmas tapes my dad made… And Christmas music, popular and classical! My family gave me great memories associated with Christmas.

This year I think it’d be nice to host some sort of Christmas gathering at my apartment. An artificial Christmas tree littered with the 200 pack of blue bulbs for $1.99 from Target. Balcony adorned with the 2000 pack of blue bulbs for (everyone together now) $1.99 from Target. Heat some Trader Joe’s turkey pot pies, maybe some Trader Jose’s black bean and soy chorizo taquitos for appetizers–no, I mean, for “hors d’eurves.” And play my Starbuck’s Christmas CD, entitled A Merry Affair. Merry, indeed, I’d say! Cap the night by caravaning to the local Coldstone for dessert.

Seeing my breath condense in the crisp atmosphere in front of me, like when I used to blow fake smoke from a fake cigarette I was smoking. Brrr! I cannot wait.

Dedicated to Tom McGranahan. Happy Birthday, dad! Thank you for so much.

Audio of this entry. (MP3) New version as of 4:56pm PDT. In the original, I sounded way too much like Ira Glass!