… so they can molest you like a towering giant ripping you limb from limb.

… so they can molest you like a beligerent Greek god turning the forces of nature against you after he discovers he’s half goat.

… so they can molest you like a human-raised wildebeast playing a banjo for the Queen of England.

… so they can molest you like Pedro Pepper’s firehouse chili con carne special as it passes out of your system.

… so they can molest you like a priest meeting you in a Viagra shop. (!!!)

… so they can molest you like an H5N1-infected bird trying to crap on you as you enjoy a bologna sandwich in the park.

… so they can molest you like an H5N1-infected bird trying to crap on you as you’re trying to molest someone else in the park.

… so they can molest you like the bugs caused by a Windows DLL that is inexplicably and repeatedly un-registered.

… so they can molest you like the bugs you think are crawling all over you during heroin withdrawls.

… so they can molest you like the sound of George W. Bush’s voice as he tries to formulate a sentence.

… so they can molest you like a stranger innocently saying “Hey, how’s it going?”

… so they can molest you like an earthquake swallowing you into a huge abyss.

… so they can molest you like nightmares about crappy blog posts.

… so they can molest you like an old cantakerous grizzly bear feasting on an overflowing jar of honey.

… so they can molest you like a crazy flea-infested hobo who plays a fiddle and puts all of the neighborhood kids into a trance and then molests them… and stuff.

… so they can molest you like a goose stewing in its own juices.

… so they can molest you like an old cantakerous grizzly bear stewing in its own juices.